- 10th Annual Walk A Mile In Her Shoes
Are you in an abusive situation?
This questionnaire is designed to help you decide if you're living in an abusive situation. There are different forms of abuse, and not every woman experiences all of them. Below are questions about your relationship with your partner. Each answer or response has points assigned.
Never 0 points
Rarely 1 point
Sometimes 2 points
Frequently 3 points
Answer each question with the response that best describes your relationship and write the number of points in the margin. By totaling all of the points you can compare your score with the Abuser Index at the end of the document.
____ 1. Does your partner continually monitor your time and make you account for every minute?
____ 2. Does your partner ever accuse you of having affairs with others or act suspicious that you are?
____ 3. Is your partner ever rude to your friends?
____ 4. Do you ever feel discouraged from starting same-sex friendships?
____ 5. Do you feel isolated and alone, as if there were nobody close for you to confide in?
____ 6. Is your partner overly critical of daily things, such as, your cooking, your clothes, or your appearance?
____ 7. Does your partner demand a strict account of how you spend money?
____ 8. Do your partner's moods change radically, from very calm to very angry and vice versa?
____ 9. Is your partner disturbed by you working, or the thought of you working?
____ 10. Does your partner become angry more easily if he/she drinks?
____ 11. Does your partner pressure you for sex more often than you'd like?
____ 12. Does your partner become angry if you don't want to go along with his/her request for sex?
____ 13. Do you quarrel much over financial matters?
____ 14. Do you quarrel much about having children or raising them?
____ 15. Does your partner ever strike you with his/her hands or feet (slap, punch, kick, etc.)?
____ 16. Does your partner ever strike you with an object?
____ 17. Does your partner ever threaten you with an object or weapon?
____ 18. Has your partner ever threatened to kill either him/herself or you?
____ 19. Does your partner ever give you visible injuries (welts, bruises, cuts)?
____ 20. Have you ever had to treat any injuries from your partner's violence with first aid?
____ 21. Have you ever had to seek professional aid for any injury at a clinic, emergency room, or doctor's office?
____ 22. Does your partner ever hurt you sexually or make you have intercourse against your will?
____ 23. Is your partner ever violent towards the children?
____ 24. Is your partner ever violent toward other people outside your home and family?
____ 25. Does your partner ever throw objects or break things when he/she is angry?
____ 26. Has your partner ever been in trouble with the police?
____ 27. Have you ever called the police or tried to call them because you felt you or other members of your family were in danger?
To score your response simply add up the points for each question. The sum is your Abuse Index Score. To get some idea of how your relationship is, compare your score with the following chart:
81-64 Dangerously Abusive
63-26 Seriously Abusive
25-11 Moderately Abusive
A woman with a score of 0-10 is NOT NECESSARILY in an abusive relationship. The sorts of strains she experiences are not unusual in relationships.
A woman with a score of 11-25 range, however, does live in a home where she experiences some violence at least once in a while. It may be that this is a relationship where violence is just beginning. In a new relationship there is good reason to expect it will eventually escalate into more serious forms and may occur more frequently.
Women with scores in the 26-63 range are in a seriously abusive relationship that can, under outside pressure, or with the sudden strain of a family emergency, move into the dangerously severe range. Serious injury is quite probable if it has not already occurred. A woman here needs to consider finding counseling. She should seriously consider getting help, even leaving.
Women with scores in the top range 64-81 need to consider even more seriously the option of leaving at least temporarily while she considers her next move. The violence will not take care of itself or miraculously disappear. Over time the chances are very good that the woman's life will be in danger.
*used with the permission of Health First